Archive for category: Life Coaching Articles

 
Like most Americans, my husband and I have been working on cutting costs.  We recently realized that we had allowed “budget creep” to increase our spending in the past few years and that our relationship with money could be healthier.
 

 
When we examined our business and personal expenditures, we found many ways to cut costs.  I hope this list inspires you to make your own cost cuts.  We:

1. Reduced the number of movies we get from Netflix
2. Reduced our cable services
3. Changed to a cable phone service
4. Refinanced our house
5. Cut dry cleaning costs (we changed dry cleaners)
6. Shopped online for lower prices for health supplements
7. Eliminated some unneeded business services (Send out Cards [I am sending electronic greeting cards now)], Quicken Online [We went to the software version of Quickbooks], aol.com)
8. Cut down on grocery spending (we started shopping at a local store instead of a chain and reducing the high dollar items)
9. Payed off credit cards (we found that our rates had been raised significantly even though our credit is very good.  I guess banks have been doing this to everyone.)
10. Cut down on and cut costs on eating out (we cut down on the number of times we go and started using coupons)
11. Reduced entertainment expenditures
12. Vacation expenditures (we found a cruise for $429 a person)
13. We also identified a fraudulent business charge that had been added to our phone bill without our knowledge

 
We’ve recorded our cutbacks and we take great joy in seeing the cumulative monthly savings we’ve made!
 
I’m enjoying the challenge of finding the best dinner coupons when we go out and using the coupons has gotten us to go to some new restaurants.  We’ve gotten back to enjoying the many low and no cost things to do in our area.
 
With all these cost-reductions I’m not feeling deprived, I’m feeling empowered!  I feel a greater sense of control over my life. I feel more secure, and, best of all, I’m having more fun.
 
I advocated having an austerity month twice a year to recalibrate your spending habits, but I believe that America’s current wide-spread belt tightening is a chance for us all to create a healthier relationship with money and in turn, a happier life for the long term.
 
 

 

 
I recently saw an episode of “The Nanny” in which a stay-at-home mom wasn’t spending any time playing with or talking to her kids.  The cameras documented the woman’s day.
 
In the morning she made bacon, eggs, pancakes, and orange juice from scratch and then did the dishes.  By the time she was done with the dishes and had picked up the house, it was time for her to start making spaghetti sauce from scratch for lunch and then she did the dishes again.  She cleaned house and then started making a complex dinner from scratch.  Again more dishes.  She was exhausted.
 
During all of this, the mom’s kids alternated between trying to get her attention and running amok.
 
If the mom’s definition of success was to make every meal from scratch, then she would be an outrageous success.
 
Unfortunately, that wasn’t her definition of success. She felt like a complete failure. Her children didn’t behave, they had no discipline, they fought all day, and were miserable.
 
Once the mom realigned how she spent her time:

With her kids, not her pots and pans

With what mattered most to her:

Creating well-adjusted kids and a happy family

She was able to be successful in achieving her goal of being a great mom.
 
Are you spending your time on what matters most to you?

Image Credit : Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalphotos.net

Often we experience stress because we have unpleasant conditions in our lives that we tolerate.  These tolerations are little and big things, that eat away at our ability to be calm, like the chip in your favorite cup, the extra weight around your middle, the garage that needs to be cleaned out, or the friend that keeps you on the phone for an hour at a time.

In the first part of this series on “Reducing Your Stress By Eliminating What You’re Tolerating,” I discussed the idea of making a Tolerations List.  This is the first step in creating a distraction-free life.

In this second part of the series, I will discuss prioritizing your list and strategies for finding solutions.

Here are a few ways to prioritize your Tolerations List:

• Start with the 3 easiest tolerations
• Pick the 3 tolerations that impact your life the most
• Rank them by urgency
• Group them in categories (e.g., work, home, people, family) and focus on one category at a time

Grouping your tolerations can help you get rid of them because often eliminating one toleration will eliminate another toleration.  For example, if I clean out my filing cabinet I have more room to store the papers on my desk.  If I start exercising regularly I will lose weight and my back will hurt less.

Another reason to group tolerations is that sometimes there is a single cause for multiple tolerations.

One of my clients had six tolerations that stemmed from one cause.  Her six tolerations were:

• I’m tired of doing my kids laundry, they’re in college for heavens sake!
• I hate going to work because I have to listen to gossip
• I don’t answer the phone so my brother won’t try to borrow money from me
• I hide from the neighbors so they won’t ask me to feed their cat
• I don’t enjoy going to church anymore because I don’t want to bake cookies for social events
• I have low levels of reserve energy

Is there a pattern here?  YES!  My client had weak boundaries and an inability to say “no.”  She was doing too much for other people.  She was also spending a great deal of energy on passively trying to avoid doing things for other people.  She resented others and was anxious.  When she learned to say “no” and to set and maintain boundaries, she was amazed at the energy and time she freed up.

Whichever prioritization method you use, once you’ve organized your list it is time to start looking for solutions.  Here are some strategies:

• • Look for the source or cause of the toleration (which we’ve discussed)
  • Ask other people for ideas
  • Spend some money to get rid of a big chunk of tolerations
  • Put a pen and paper by your bed and then review your “Tolerations List” before you go to sleep.  (Solutions will often pop into your head as you fall asleep.  This one is not for insomniacs!)

The strategy of asking other people for ideas worked well for me.  I shared my list of tolerations with my husband and within a week he had eliminated three:  the smoke alarm that had been sitting on the counter for 6 months, my internet wireless connection that constantly disconnected (he had to climb through the crawl space to run wire for this one – that was quite a sacrifice!), and the electronic alarm clock that displayed “)” instead of “0”.  Then he and I made a plan on how to improve our health (which started eliminating more than one toleration).

In Part 2 of this series, we’ve discussed how to organize your “Tolerations List” so that you can get to work on eliminating them and we’ve discussed some strategies for finding solutions.  In part 3 of this series, I will discuss how to reduce your stress through acceptance of the tolerations you cannot eliminate.

Review Reducing Stress by Eliminating Tolerations – Part 3

** The Reduce Stress by Eliminating Your Tolerations is a recording of a presentation on How to Eliminate What You’re Tolerating in Life. It is approximately 30 minutes in length.

Image Courtesy : imagerymajestic/FreeDigitalphotos.net

 
What priority is your health?  Where are you spending your time?  Chances are, even if you tell yourself your health comes first, your actions don’t reflect that kind of commitment.
 
A first step in putting your health first is to create a vision of what you want your health to be like now, a year from now, and 20 years from now.  This tends to put your lack of action into perspective and to create motivation for change.
 

 
Next you need to determine what you need to do to get the health you want:
 

• Eat healthier
• Consistently take your medications
• Get enough sleep or rest
• Go to the doctor and be your own health advocate
• Get your health screenings
• Seek alternative medicine
• Exercise
• Reduce your stress
• Simplify your life
• Create a safer and healthier environment
• Manage your health and safety risks
• Floss your teeth
• Engage in rejuvenating activities – meditation, reading, soft music

 
Once you determine what you need to do, you can make an Action Plan.  You can have Daily, Weekly, Monthly, and Yearly Actions.  For most people, to truly make these actions a priority, they need to schedule them in their calendars.
 
Now that you’ve committed the time to take care of your health, you can identify any resources you’ll need to be successful:
 

• Time
• Energy
• Equipment
• Support from your family and friends

 
Finally, it’s helpful to determine what is going to get in your way and create solutions to barriers you may encounter.
 
With all this in place, you will be well on your way to maintaining your health.
 
If you find you are slipping way from your plan, ask yourself:
 

• Is it worth what I’m losing?

• Is it worth losing precious time on this earth as a healthy, active person?